4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
someone owes me an orgasm
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
