I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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