direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize