Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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