If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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