i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
