How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
