I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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