I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
