where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
