In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
