So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
