There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
