Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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