better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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