So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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