Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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