ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
