I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
