i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
no you cant smoke seaweed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
