I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize