i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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