Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
