I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize