first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
