They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Randomize
