How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize