So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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