Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize