You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize