So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
