so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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