This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
