Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
