Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
