totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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