She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
