seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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