I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
