i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
how drunk are you?
Several
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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