did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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