Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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