I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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