I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
