I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
