...so i touched it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
