Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
