I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
