peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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