the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In other news, I just burned my penis
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize