he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
someone owes me an orgasm
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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