On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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