I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
