Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
