Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His hands were made for my vagina.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the raccoons are back...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
