My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
