and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
