We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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