Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
