Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
