but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You have to summon your inner elephant
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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