I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So much rum. So many feels.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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