i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
