I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
