Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My bed smells like the plague
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
