The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
