they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
