Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
