I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize