so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
FUCK WHALES
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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